Bikini-less Baristas

The latest kerfuffle in Everett is "Bikini Baristas" who, it seems, are charging customers for a little extra with their coffee.

The controversy over coffee stands with bikini-clad servers is not new. Neighbors and full-time morality monitors have been complaining about scantily-clad servers for years now--as if they couldn't see just as much by strolling down to the local park or beach on a hot day during the summer. Bikinis are not illegal or even lewd under the definition of the law, case closed.

(It's an interesting question about why bikini baristas came into being in Washington, of all places. It's cold up here! It seems like the idea would develop in southern California or Florida. Maybe it's because we're all so caffeinated up here. Or maybe it's precisely the incongruity of it that made the idea catch fire. You'll see g-strings on main street in Miami Beach, no big deal. But how often, really, do you get to see a pretty young woman in a bikini in October in Seattle? Not so often.)

The issue of late is that some of the baristas are apparently offering more than just bikini views: flashing customers for tips, or letting them touch their breasts, or catching wadded up bills in their bikini bottoms. Good clean fun in the context of a private club, but on a busy street or in full view of non-compliant residences, perhaps a bit over the line. Now five or six women have been charged with misdemeanor "prostitution" for exchanging "sex acts" for money, and the city of Everett is looking at changing its ordinances to further criminalize such behavior.

I have decidedly mixed feelings about all this. On one hand I think it was awfully foolhardy of these girls to think they could flash their pussies, let customers fondle their breasts, and lick whipped cream off each other's bosoms in full view of the neighborhood without raising people's ire. Nudity is one thing, titilating behavior is entirely another. Heck, anything that merits a breathless expose on Fox News is bound to be bad news. On the other hand, the reaction is now likely to be overblown, as it often is in these cases, criminalizing even non-sexual nudity along with the erotic (though there are a few administrators who don't seem to be losing their heads). And don't the police have better things to do?

In my opinion, the solution should have been two-pronged: first, start selling coffee in strip clubs, where the waitresses could flash whatever they wanted with their service. And second, build your coffee shops in such a way that the neighbors can't get in on the show without getting in line themselves. Build a wooden fence around your piece of property--it wouldn't cost that much, would it? Tell the baristas to keep their hands to themselves, and to make the customers do the same. And then do away with the binikis entirely.

Wouldn't you stop for a naked latte?

Nude ballerinas in downtown Seattle

While in Seattle on business this past week, I happened on a public plaza at 3rd and Spring Street that featured two absolutely beautiful sculptures of nude ballerinas. Perched on pedestals ten feet above the ground, the two-foot tall metal sculptures faced the traffic and the surrounding highrise buildings, serenely balancing on one foot. The nonchalance of their nudity was a perfect example of "naked and simple beauty."



What made the statues even more remarkable was their detail. One statue, especially, which featured a young woman balancing on her right leg while holding her left leg, bent at the knee, in front of her. This pose exposes her vulva to the viewers below; and whereas so many artists will blur and smooth over the genital region as if it doesn't really exist, or as if they're too ashamed to portray it in accurate detail, this woman's vulva is remarkably detailed. Both the inner and outer lips of the vulva are visible. The other statue is similarly explicit but less detailed.



I wonder about the history of these sculptures. Who created them? (There was probably a sign somewhere, but I was too fascinated by the sculptures themselves to notice it.) Were they commissioned to be precisely what they are today, or did some public servant simply ask for art and end up with nude ballerinas? Did he or she worry about the public reaction to the sculptures? And what has the public reaction actually been?

I'd like to think that the reaction by everyone concerned was as nonchalant as the ballerinas themselves. With people in Florida throwing tantrums over a (non-realistic) sculpture of a nude family, it would be nice to think that Seattleites are more sophisticated than that.

I also wonder about the model (or models) for the sculptures. Does she visit the plaza to enjoy the beautiful work she helped create? Does she smile at the irony of being able to stand naked, in a sense, in the middle of downtown Seattle?

It would be interesting to try an experiment. Bring a 10-foot column and a ladder to the plaza, and pose a live, nude model on the pedestal, gazing calmly out over the city in a similarly explicit pose, with her shaved vulva nonchalantly smiling down at passersby. Would she be accepted as "art" as readily as her metal cousin? I doubt it--but why not? Why should there be a difference?

More naked riders in Seattle

Riding a bicycle naked through the streets of Seattle is becoming something of a tradition, with the World Naked Bike Ride, spring solstice, and gay pride parade all sporting nude enthusiasts, often clad in elaborate bodypaint. Sunday they found a new excuse: Hempfest. The Seattle PI reports that a several people rode nude during the event; from the photos, it looks like seven men and one woman.

I'm not a supporter of legalized marijuana myself, though I think restrictions on medical marijuana use and hemp products are ridiculous. But I'm all for freeing the mind and body: no consciousness-altering drugs necessary.

The tush on this woman is consciousness-altering enough, don't you think?