Bits and pieces

Nothing really jumps out at me in the news this Monday, but there are quite a few minor things that seem worthy of comment:

Megan Fox counts the "boys" who have seen her naked -- on one hand
Megan Fox, in an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine, says she's very self-conscious about her body, and that she can count on one hand the men who have seen her without clothes on. Poor girl! What a sadly uptight life she must lead. That's not "vagina power," that's just pathetic self-loathing. Me, I couldn't count the number of women who've seen me naked even if I used all my fingers and toes. Nude beaches, wilderness hot springs, nudist parks, and nude art modeling tend to run those numbers up pretty quickly, not to mention girlfriends, skinny dipping partners, sauna-mates... you get the picture...

Geri Halliwell shocked by beach nudist
Meanwhile, Geri Halliwell finds herself on a beach and is shocked--shocked!--to see a Real Person, not a model or celebrity on vacation, bathing without a swimsuit, and unashamed about it. Geri, of course, wears very little herself when she's on the beach (and may even think about wearing less); but in her mind, getting naked is only for making money and selling magazines, not for relaxing in the sun for your own enjoyment. She and Megan Fox could be good roommates.

Artist's model arrested for getting nude among paintings
You may have read about Zack Hyman's art project in New York City, in which he poses nude models for 30 seconds at a time in unusual settings, including the NYC subway. Recently, he (or rather, his unfortunate model) was finally arrested, for getting nude in--wait for it!--an art museum. So to NYPD Blue, it seems, artistic nudity is just fine... as long as it doesn't involve, you know, reality. And once again, the news media have followed suit: you won't find anyone out there showing pictures of the beautiful and unashamed Kathleen Neill without her "naughty bits" black-banded, stickered-over, blurred, or pixelated out. Even the documentary video made during the photoshoot is blurred out, so you can hardly tell that you're looking at a human being at all, let alone a nude one. If she's not ashamed of them--and if it's art, after all--then why must we all be subjected to self-censorship by the news media? Kudos to Huffington Post for being the lone exception that treats its readers like adults with brains of their own! See the picture they published above with this post.

Floridians can't handle the (naked) truth
Meanwhile, in Delray Beach, Florida, people are up in arms about an anatomically correct (though in my opinion that's a bit of a "stretch") sculpture on display at a shopping center. Take a look at the sculture. Can you see what the fuss is about? Only if you get up close and personal, I suppose.

Celebs get naked
Meanwhile, in other celebrity news, Alicia Silverstone reportedly gardens in the nude, inspired by Woody Harrelson. Good for them! Sounds much more comfortable, to me, than gardening in hot, sweaty, itchy clothes. For the record, I wouldn't classify it as a "bizarre activity," myself. I could see myself doing it myself. Especially alongside Alicia Silverstone.

Other celebrities reportedly have taken up naked yoga, including Gwyneth Paltrow, Nicolas Cage, Halle Berry, Jennifer Lopez, and Naomi Watts. Of course, that story sounds like somebody's daydream. We'll watch for photo confirmation of that one. The photo with the article sure aint Halle Berry.

Naked Reading
In Dallas, you can attend a sophisticated cultural event involving artistic nudity by... oh, fuck. It's naked women reading books. What more do you want? It doesn't need to be any more profound than that! It's all in the great tradition of movies like La Lectrice and The Reader, which successfully combined the right-brained allure of a beautiful naked woman with the left-brained art of language for a decidedly full-brained sense of eroticism. And who can forget Bull Durham? Here's hoping Naked Girls Reading comes to Seattle.

Buy yourself (or your ex) a dissolving bikini
And finally, this: you can now buy, from Cultstyle.com, a dissolving bikini. It's being marketed as a revenge gift for ex-lovers (though I certainly don't see that angle on their European website). Three minutes in the water, and it falls apart, leaving her exposed and embarrassed for all to see. But it seems to me that, for the right woman, it would be a great excuse to suddenly and blamelessly be naked in public...

Sounds like fun, actually. Tell you what, if anyone wants to try this out and document it with photos or videos, I'll reimburse you the price of the bikini.

Naked in the window, news photographers turn away

I keep seeing news about the new Standard Hotel in New York City, which apparently advertised its grand opening with racey advertisements encouraging patrons to take advantage of its floor-to-ceiling windows. "We encourage you to exercise your inner exhibitionist," the hotel's Facebook page reportedly says. "Please share your intimate, and explicit photos with us—those floor to ceiling windows aren’t just for the views . . ." And on their website--at least for a while: "Whatever you do, just make sure the shots are HOT and that you get them to us in whichever way you can. It's all about sex all the time, and you're our star."

Now people have taken the hotel up on its suggestion, showing off in front of the windows, both alone and with each other, even filming porn shoots in full view of passers-by looking on from below, some in bemusement and others in shock. And now the hotel vows to try to encourage visitors to keep their curtains closed. Good luck getting that genie back in the bottle!

But here's the part I find interesting. Dozens of people have shown off in front of the windows, with no concern about being seen. Hundreds of people have seen them. But there doesn't appear to be more than a single uncensored photo anywhere on the Internet. You can find plenty of places with pictures that tease with strategic pixelation in the nether regions. The photo with this post is from the purple DIARY blog and, as you can see, was taken from within the hotel.

So, given a medium like the Internet that allows people to self-regulate, to see naked pictures if they want to and to not see naked pictures if they don't want to, why aren't news websites offering the option of seeing what all the fuss is about?